my eighteenth husband

Mr and Mrs Jack Bevan from Foals

my eighteenth husband

Dear Jack,

We have divided your band amongst our friends and of which I have been assigned you. Well actually there are two of us fighting for you but as long as you like girls, I win.

It was love at first sight. Well honestly I discovered my love for you on a crazy night of internet stalking. So really it was love at first stalk. We have had some good moments, like that time we danced under the stars to my favourite album, yours. I wish there weren’t oceans keeping us apart. I know you wish the same. One time I almost went to see Edwin DJ at Neverland, just so I could feel closer to you.

Yours stalkily,

Jasmine Jacket-Jackson-Green-Kweller-T-Nutini-Brand-MacFarlane-Thomas-Peñate-Phinnessee-Cera-Koenig-Tomson-Batmanglij-Baio-Bass-Bevan.

It's Valentine's Day

You help make me who I am.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

The day is still young, don't let me down.

I love you baby.

Where is my gift?

I will kill you.

Personalize this video at HDgreetings.com - ecards and more

I’m in the Nick Jonas video! (Add yourself: http://www.hdgreetings.com/Nick )

My Valentine’s Letter

Hey Mikey/ Mikey/ Adam/ Benny/ Jamie/ Paolo/ Rusty/ Eddy/ Joshy/ Jacky/ Snakey/ Mikey/ Ezra-Pezra, Chrissy, Rostamy, Chrissy/ Chucky baby!

You are the love of my life. I promise I will stop marrying other people really soon. I am forever yours. It is almost St Valentine’s Day, only one week away. I hope you know me well enough to give me the following gift without me needing to prompt you.

• Chuck Bass = A romantic trip to Paris.
• Vampire Weekend = lets make out (chris baio keep your hands to yourself).
• Michael Cera = A mix tape of songs that remind you of me.
• Snake Eyes = Your face to be hidden from public view.
• Jack Peñate = Make me some music designed specifically for baking.
• Josh Thomas = A home cooked meal (but don't bring your boyfriend, that would make things awkward).
• Ed MacFarlane = A night of you and I dancing.
• Russell Brand = The answer to this question is all I am after. What brand of hair product you use? Oh actually can you introduce me to Macaulay Culkin? arr Mac.
• Paolo Nutini = Tell me you love me as much as I love you.
• Jamie T, Ben Kweller & Adam Green = An all ages show dedicated to me next time your in Brisbane, Australia.
• Michael Jackson = Your reincarnation or resurrection.
• Michael Jacket = Just your name. That is all I want from you.

All my love,

Your wife/cheating whore of a partner, Jasmine.