my seventeenth husband

Dear Chuck,

I recently went on a family holiday to a beautiful beachside town. We swam in the crystal clear waters, we shopped at all the boutiques and we ate buffet style meals every single day. It was HELL ON EARTH! The only reason I did not hang myself was because of your bow ties and your company via television screen. I do not think you, Chuck Bass, wear too much purple. I would say just the perfect amount. I would like to thank you, Chuck Bass, for spending so much time with me and apologise for all the terrible things I have said about the actor that portrays you. It is not his fault that he radiates joy.

I look forward to spending more quality time with you, Chuck Bass, during season three and listening to you say your name over and over and over.

Chuck Bass, I will love you until someone better comes along,

Jasmine Jacket-Jackson-Green-Kweller-T-Nutini-Brand-MacFarlane-Thomas-Peñate-Phinnessee-Cera-Koenig-Tomson-Batmanglij-Baio-Bass