It's Valentine's Day

You help make me who I am.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

The day is still young, don't let me down.

I love you baby.

Where is my gift?

I will kill you.

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I’m in the Nick Jonas video! (Add yourself: http://www.hdgreetings.com/Nick )

My Valentine’s Letter

Hey Mikey/ Mikey/ Adam/ Benny/ Jamie/ Paolo/ Rusty/ Eddy/ Joshy/ Jacky/ Snakey/ Mikey/ Ezra-Pezra, Chrissy, Rostamy, Chrissy/ Chucky baby!

You are the love of my life. I promise I will stop marrying other people really soon. I am forever yours. It is almost St Valentine’s Day, only one week away. I hope you know me well enough to give me the following gift without me needing to prompt you.

• Chuck Bass = A romantic trip to Paris.
• Vampire Weekend = lets make out (chris baio keep your hands to yourself).
• Michael Cera = A mix tape of songs that remind you of me.
• Snake Eyes = Your face to be hidden from public view.
• Jack Peñate = Make me some music designed specifically for baking.
• Josh Thomas = A home cooked meal (but don't bring your boyfriend, that would make things awkward).
• Ed MacFarlane = A night of you and I dancing.
• Russell Brand = The answer to this question is all I am after. What brand of hair product you use? Oh actually can you introduce me to Macaulay Culkin? arr Mac.
• Paolo Nutini = Tell me you love me as much as I love you.
• Jamie T, Ben Kweller & Adam Green = An all ages show dedicated to me next time your in Brisbane, Australia.
• Michael Jackson = Your reincarnation or resurrection.
• Michael Jacket = Just your name. That is all I want from you.

All my love,

Your wife/cheating whore of a partner, Jasmine.

my seventh husband

Mr and Mrs Russel Brand

my seventh husband

Dear Russel,

Remember that time we punched that owl in the stomach? A sweet moment. You are a sweet guy. Also you are the biggest whore I have ever met. I like you because you get around more than I do. I know you are not capable of fidelity, I think now is the time to tell you that Paolo and I are getting back together. I hope I haven't hurt your ego too badly.

(Not really) yours,

Jasmine Jacket-Jackson-Green-Kweller-T-Nutini-Brand.